Robert as Art, the Disillusionment

I am confident that most of you will be devastated to learn that the whole "Robert as Art" phenomenon has been neither pure nor natural.  The blog, dear fans, has been doctored to hide the incredibly difficult work required to produce the seemingly effortless poses that Robert has struck.

In this first attempt, notice--to begin--that he has the wrong leg thrust forward.  Second, note the position of the arms.  His left arm is sticking straight up in the air, not bent gracefully--even effortlessly--like the arm of the Goddess in the statue.  The right arm is tucked down completely behind his head.  No amount of side coaching (of which, there was much) could induce him to strike the correct pose.

Here you see one of his coaches, stepping in to try to help him get it right.  After checking the statue, the unnamed coach actively manipulates the subject, trying to whip him into shape.  A whip ultimately might have been more helpful.

Note in this picture that we have finally managed to get him standing with the correct leg thrust forward.  But the arms . . . the arms . . . .  Neither is correct.

After further side coaching, you can see that there is no appreciable change in his stance.  Perhaps he was talking rather than listening while we were coaching.

Ah, here at last we are getting closer.  Note the correct leg thrust forward, and the right arm is almost perfect.  We have still not induced him to bend the left arm appropriately.

"See, I've got it," he shouts.  "Another Masterpiece for the blog."

We didn't have the heart to tell him about the problem that remained with the left arm.  Instead, we let him believe that he had, indeed, mastered yet another work of art.

"That was difficult," he said.  "I think I could have attained the correct pose much more quickly, if we could have convinced Carl to lay down on the ground so that I could stand on his chest."  As Robert walked away he added, "I think I might have greater facility with British statues.  After all, I am fluent in English.  Can't wait to get to the Victoria and Albert."